06 April 2006

The questions are real.

They never stop—like the steady summer rain falling outside my window. I’ve got Miles Davis on the stereo. It’s a “Kind Of Blue” kind of day, if you know what I mean. Some truth is waiting here to be collected, placed on my tongue like a wafer in communion, if only I could ask the right questions.

Who is Jesus?

What difference does it make in my day-to-day life?

Wouldn’t it be easier to be simply an artist and not, dear God, a Christian artist?

How are we to be peacemakers and not a doormat for the world?

How, and my own inner house ever be in order?

Will I ever not be swayed by the world and culture and our place in it?

Will I ever be able to clear my head of petty thoughts long enough to walk the war-torn, bloodstained streets of Belfast, for example, and feel more than that this is good song material?

This bothers me.

Why is it so hard to keep a relationship alive?

This bothers me.

Why do men and women fundamentally break each other’s hearts?

This bothers me too.

Humans are fallen, humans are ethereal. The world is corrupt, the world is beautiful. I hate you, I love you. I keep wishing the fundamentalists are right—that everything is cause and effect, black and white. But I stare up into the mystery, and it’s gray and thick like humid summer rain.


Nathan Martin said...


that was beautiful

i don't read many whole articles any more

(and that's terrible)

but i read every word of that piece

and he said so many things i've wondered, in so many ways...

jules said...

hey, twinkletoes, that article was awesome.

it's even more awesome that we prayed last night before you left for your retreat.

can't wait to road trip with you to florida!

Pauletta said...

hey hannah
this is such a beautiful article. you really get me to read awesome stuff...it's great!

Campeador said...

Life never quite resolves into black-and-white, but God and friends can help one stride through the greyness.

Then again, you probably already know this. And yes, your writing is indeed beautiful. :-)

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